Have you ever felt like God was guiding you in a different direction from that which you had planned? Despite His guidance, have you ignored Him and just kept putting it off and following your own plans?
I’ve got to be honest; this is true in my life. I have done it in the past and sadly I continue to do it today. For some reason I have such a hard time abandoning ‘my plans’ and fully trusting and abiding by His plan for my lift. I can’t explain it but it terrifies me sometimes, thinking about what He wants me to be doing. Sometimes it just seems out right foolish and irresponsible. It’s almost as if I think some how my plans for my life are better than my Creator’s plans for me. Yuck, that sounds a lot worse in writing then it did in my head!
I tell myself that God has a plan for my life, my faith in Him brings life and he would never want to harm me.
The fear of the Lord leads to life and whoever has it rests satisfied;
he will not be visited by harm.
Even though I know this I still find it difficult to surrendering 100% of my life to His control. Am I the only one that feels this way or struggles with this? I sure hope not!
It’s not that I don’t want to trust fully in His plan, because I really do have a yearning to sit and trust in His plan. For some reason beyond my understanding I clench on to what little control I have. I’m a bit of a control freak…and I’m being extremely generous when I say I’m only a ‘bit’ of a control freak…I find myself in total panic and utter fear of all the unknown’s in His plan. The ‘what if’s’ and ‘what about…’, ‘how’ and ‘when’… those are things I want to control, those are the things that scare me beyond belief because in His plan they aren’t clear to me. I’m ashamed to admit but in my mind I think ‘how dare He ask me to do that without knowing….” But that’s what it’s all about, it’s about having total faith and surrendering total control, something I’m still working on.
Thankful for His patience in the matter, I am grateful to at least be in a better position then I was only a few months ago. I know this is an issue and an area I will need to work through and change. Hey, did you read my post about my word of the year? If you haven’t you should take a second to read it. Anyway, I know His plan is way better then anything I can muster up and as scary as it may be I’m excited and eager to see how this all plays out. Starting with ‘baby’ steps, it’s a process and I’m not prepared to jump off the cliff quite yet, but ‘baby’ steps are a start and my hope is it will get easier over time.
Do you struggling with surrendering your life to God? How did you manage to overcome the desire to have control of your plans and future? I’d love to hear how God is working in you life or how He has walked with you through this in the past.