Like may others I often struggle with lies that have been planted in my head by the enemy, lies that make me feel worthless and just all around not very good. Recently, I found myself questioning the purpose of some of my personal character traits. I am not sure why but I found myself doubting these character traits that essentially make me who I am. I was questioning whether specific traits like being strong willed and determined were traits not becoming of a christian woman. I had this idea in my mind that a christian woman needs to fit into this preverbal 'box' and have specific traits that I felt I lacked, like a tender heart, but if you were to ask me to describe that ideal woman I'd probably respond with something to the tone of 'she'd be everything I'm not'.
After reading '
Intentional with Toddlers' blog post written by
Casey a few months ago, about parenting I realized my thinking was off....way off. One of the points she talked about was how sometimes our children have qualities that come across as negative, but they are a gift God gave them and they just don't know how to 'channel' it yet. Although I don't have any children, reading that opened the door to a light bulb moment for me personally. It was in that moment I realized that the character traits that I thought were not becoming of a christian woman were actually a gift from God! I have these traits on purpose, it was no accident and they aren't anything to be ashamed of. Through this process I also realized that I have the character traits to fit into that preverbal 'box' of the christian woman, even though they aren't traits that would jump in my mind if I had to describe myself I still had them.
As I struggled to understand that my character traits are actually a gift from God I found myself going to scripture, where better to look? I kept going back to Proverbs 31:25 "Strength and dignity are her clothing..." Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." and Proverbs 31:30 "...but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised". I realize now that these character traits that I was once ashamed to have are a beautiful gift from God. I continue to pray that God shapes me and 'channels' my strengths to glorify Him.
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