Do you know someone who....
tries hard to fit in?
works hard to achieve perfection?
sets unrealistic goals?
strives to please others but ultimately isn't pleasing themselves?
Is that someone you?
I know sometime I fall into this trap. I want to be accepted by my peers, I want to be part of the 'in crowd'. I look back to when I was younger, when I was in school, I realize how silly it was to try be part of the 'in crowd'. I did a lot of things to try and fit in... some of the things I am not proud of but at the time all I wanted was to fit in. I quickly realized that being part of the 'in crowd' was not all it was cracked up to be, and after being hurt too many times I decided being part of the 'in crowd' was not worth it and Iwas just happy being me in my own little group of one.
Funny thing is now many years later and a few years wiser I still want to be a part of that 'in crowd'.
I want to be friends with the bloggers I admire, I want to be a part of that group of ladies at church who always seem so happy. I've realized that I CAN be a part of that group and I can be friends with the bloggers I admire. The most important thing I have to remember is that I need to stay true to who I am and if I'm not accepted for who I am it's better to just move on. We don't gain points in heaven for how popular your friends were here on earth.
I have always put a lot of pressure on myself to achieve perfection. I knew in my mind and heart no one is perfect, but even still I always strive for perfection. Even though I try my best in everything I do I often disappoint myself because I believe I could do better. This was really prevalent in my life while I was going to school, I tired my best but sometimes I missed the mark and I would beat myself up about it. I had to work really hard for the marks I got and let me tell you they weren't anything special, did I mention I have a learning disability... I didn't give myself any slack (I don't think that's a bad thing) but I still wanted to achieve perfection.
I still expect perfection but it's not measured by grades but rather my achievements in life and what I expect of myself. Sometimes those goals are unrealistic like living without any debt and working a job with security, a six figure income, benefits and where I love going to work every day. Some times the goals I set for myself are unrealistic and unattainable right now! I know these goals are attainable but it may not be now... I may be debt free 20 years from now but I want it now and that's the problem when I set goals that are unrealistic.
On top of all this the worst thing of all is I'm a PEOPLE PLEASER!!!
I've strived to please my parents ever since I can remember and I still strive to please them. I want them to be proud of me, of what I do, and of who I am as a person. I often find myself dreaming about my life and what I'd like it to be but then the questions start popping into my mind
"what will my hubby think?"
"will my parents be proud?"
and "will my friends support me?"
Being a people pleasure has caused a problem in my life.... I'm often not reaching for my dreams, I am too worried about what others will think, which means I'm pleasing everyone but myself.
It's time to start chasing my dreams and start pleasing the one that matters!